BROKEN OPEN
"Suffering is the pain of purification, Cleansing the heart of imperfections. Through suffering, One learns to surrender." - Sufi saying
True letting go is always subtle and comes with a sense of ease as it is creating space and relaxation. The body is softening and we are dropping into embodied awareness, being present with our emotions and feelings as they express as sensation running through the body in this very moment.
True letting go is a deep understanding that any difficulty could never be solved without love and that God never charges a Soul with more than it can bear.
True letting go means softening into the deeper knowing that Truth has been planted in the center of your heart, entrusted to you for safekeeping.
True letting go is empowering and drawing you back into your sovereignty.
The art of letting go is the art of surrender. And the path of surrender allows you to break open fearlessly. And fearlessly doesn't mean to not feel fear, it means to feel the fear and allow for the breaking to happen anyway. To understand that the breaking is there to help you remember who you are and what you came here for. Allowing ourselves to break open comes with a great risk, as breaking open will inevitably lead to feeling more and more deeply - feeling more pain, more suffering, more joy, more love. Breaking open means to be utterly raw, unapologetically you in your true colours. And honestly, this is so very sexy and magnetic. We all feel this pull towards people that stand in their own radiance, in their broken-openness..
I still feel a strong ambivalence between breaking down and breaking open. However, the path I'm following at any given moment can be seen very clearly: when I'm fighting and arguing with the present moment, I feel defeated, cut off, broken down by life. Once this becomes clear to me, I take a moment to pause and become very still. Reassuring myself, that it is ok to not know yet how to fully break open, and for having allowed the sense of feeling defeated and being broken down. And I know the key is to not give up, to just keep on going. Trusting that the time of recollection will come. One cannot taste the intimacy of rememberance without having suffered the desolation of forgetfulness.
So I'm continuing my journey of learning to allow for my heart to break open instead of breaking down through the challenges of life, deepening into the prayer for my own life, allowing all the things that are in the way between me and true unconditional (self-)love to fall away, taking one step at a time. Will you join me?
